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Konami Code

by R. Morgan Slade

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Just having a little nerdcore rap down memory lane

lyrics

If you're not 100% ready for a
NERDCORE RAP then I HIGHLY SUGGEST
you click away NOW before your MOM
comes into the room and asks you
WHAT THE HELL you're listening to
because I've got...

(CHORUS)
No idea how it's gonna go down
but I've never been one to shy from the crowd
I got decades of the fundamentals in my brain
those pixels coursing through my veins but
what I'll never know is how I'll try to explain
to my kids how their grandfather's era of games
paved the way for today's empty cliches
generations of mainstream triple-As

Built on the backs of the ones that came before
back in the day when my choice was BULBASAUR
my friends weren't impressed with his lack of CHARM
AND DURability's a riSK WORD TILL leech seed's armed
but I put 'em all to sleep and then I beat defeat
never gonna overcome my meta strategies
you're gonna throw your controller resorting to cheese
please SCVs accompany your marines
accuse me of fighting like a dairy farmer
with an antique old-school pick for starters
while you reject the udders and you cling to now
how appropriate you fight like a cow
cuz I'm the insult sword fight record holder
I'm the road worn savior of Corley Motors
and if Kirby would eat me no doubt in my mind
he'd be full up on beats and destroying with rhymes

(CHORUS)

It's my responsibility to teach 'em fine leather jackets
are the perfect way to keep a zombie pirate distracted
when they question the logic and the sense that made
I'll regale them with tales of the Last Crusade
and with a little UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT
they'll Be enAbled to STARTdelighting
in the worlds where I used to lose my days and
we'll revel in the levels of my favorite games

In the chaos of speeding through the Emerald Hill Zone
hoping to amass a full assortment of gemstones
grabbing hold of every golden ring you see but
keeping one will save you more than chasing fifty
under stars of the tropic's southern cross you
gotta search the islands gotta find the doc
and as the letter's getting wetter from my
uncle Steve 747 Nav-Com Sub-C

When you're running from a monster be they necromorphs
or they're zombies maybe nurses even dinosaurs
and you're cornered and you're scared and you're fighting for life
take a moment to remember that it's all contrived

There's a window? Zombie climbing over
Fence up? Dinosaur enclosure
Nurses? You better kill your flashlight
Save point? There's gonna be a BOSS FIGHT

(CHORUS)

It's my responsibility to teach 'em fine leather jackets
are the perfect way to keep a zombie pirate distracted
when they question the logic and the sense that made
I'll regale them with tales of the Last Crusade
and with a little UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT
they'll Be enAbled to STARTdelighting
in the worlds where I used to lose my days and
we'll revel in the levels of my favorite games

Be there right beside them with a captive eye
while a disconnect controller keeps them occupied
while they figure out that Magus is a likeable guy
while they learn to snipe a banshee pilot out of his ride

As they grow into their own and their birthdays arrive
I'll be cracking all my jokes and they'll be rolling their eyes
as I hold an empty plate and say the cake is a lie
as they grown call me lame I'll be dying inside
and confide in my wife that a clash of pride
overwhelming my heart where my feels reside
cuz I'm deep in the grief at the growing divide
between me and the He-They-She-Non-B
I achieved a naive kind of forced design
where they'd see that the key to a life resides
in relieving the need to defeat the grind
interweaving belief that a nine to five
would protect like a vest to the chest would lie
to the grace in the face of a child of mine
when I choke on the joke of my own advice
Would I heed a decree to put my dreams aside
for the sake of insecurity that comes with aging
and the question of which world here is most worth saving
when all I want to know is that they're gonna be fine
but I need to release the conceit

That while it's my responsibility to teach 'em fine leather jackets
are the perfect way to keep a zombie pirate distracted
when they question the logic and the sense that made
I'll regale them with tales of the Last Crusade
And if they ever UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT

Help 'em think with portals till their cores ignite
we can't always be there to remind them to save
we just have to be brave

(END CHORUS)

credits

released July 9, 2020
Written and Performed by R. Morgan Slade
Produced by Autumn Orange

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R. Morgan Slade Vancouver, British Columbia

Hi I’m R. Morgan Slade and I make all kinds of wacky fun stuff from original sea shanties to ttrpg inspired folk songs to zombie Carly Rae Jepsen parodies to nerdcore raps to minimalistic experimental chiptune concept albums and I’m damn thankful you stopped by :) ... more

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